Soap and Education

John and Kate

I have been hearing buzz about the TLC show "John and Kate plus 8" for quite awhile but since we don't have TLC I haven't been able to watch it myself. But a couple of weeks ago, while I was in Ottawa, I stayed in a hotel that had TLC and I caught a couple of episodes. I have to say that after only two episodes I understand why John bailed on his wife. I'm not condoning it, but I understand it. Kate is crazy. Not in the cute, endearing way that Jennifer Aniston is crazy. No, Kate Gosselin is certifiable. 

The latest chapter of the J&K media circus is Kate's indignation at the media for intruding in their lives. I have to wonder if it might serve John and Kate to learn from the centuries-old tale of the Trojan Horse from Virgil's Aeneid. 

J&K invited the media into their lives and now they are biting the hand that has fed them (quite well) for a couple of seasons. Virgil himself said, "Timeo Danaos et dona ferentes" ["Do not trust Greeks bearing gifts"]. J&K, if you are listening, just suck it up and get on with your lives. You have 8 children who need you to show them how to make it in the world. If you want to get on with life, quit the show, get a therapist, and stay together for the children. Oh yeah, and beware of producers bearing gifts lest you meet the same end as the Trojans.

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The Question Behind the Question

*sigh*

That felt good. I think I need another.

*sigh*

I don't know much about how the world works. That's a stupid thing to say. Who does, right? None of us has the power to bend the universe according to our will. But if I had that power at my disposal, just for a moment, I could single-handedly reduce the universe to utter ruin. I think the human condition is such that we are driven by a misguided premise that what will make us happy is to resolve something, to answer some meta-question. Something like, "Why do bad things happen to good people?" And I think that someone has convinced us that if we can just find an answer to these imponderables, or if we spend time refining the questions, we can somehow transcend the injustice of life on earth. The truly wise learn that it is a fools errand. The world turns and our fortunes soar or crumble without reason. And the worst part is that we can't for the life of us find an inspirational quote to make us really believe that the meta-questions don't matter. The big questions do matter. But it's not the answer that we should be seeking, rather, it is discovering the source of the question that is the bigger prize. Answers lie ahead, down the road, and they may come at any time or not at all. But causation... Ahhh, there is the real prize. Cause is something that comes before. Cause predates the question itself and it is causation that holds the real value. 

Don't torture yourself trying to find an answer to the question, "Why does God let men slaughter innocents with impunity?" Why would we even ask that question? From where does a question like that even arise? Maybe the better question is "What do I believe God is responsible for?" What's his job description anyway? This is the source of the meta-question, "Why does God let men slaughter innocents with impunity?" 

If we are diligent, we can discover the source of a thing. Predicting the outcome of a thing is a different matter. Source is certainty; Outcome is conjecture. This truly is the heart of introspection. The goal of introspection is not to discover the answers hidden inside. The goal is to discover the real question: The question behind the question, if you will. 

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"Freak-a-zoid"

Another fave from my childhood. I had a 45 of this song and literally played it until it wouldn't play anymore. The beauty of this video is that it works as a PSA elucidating the absurdity of white guys breakdancing.

Midnight Star - No Parking on the Dance Floor

Good Sweet Mary! "Excuse me madam, you're standing still in a no parking zone. If you don't get a move on that body, I'll be forced to give you a ticket. So get with it!"

This video demonstrates everything that was so wrong with music videos in the 80's. But it feels soooooo right.

Freak-a-zoid

This is, quite possibly, one of my favorite songs from my childhood. And the video is so inspirational. It's like a public service announcement elucidating the absolute absurdity of a white guy breakdancing in the 80's.

Freak-a-zoid

This is, quite possibly, one of my favorite songs from my childhood. And the video is so inspirational. It's like a public service announcement elucidating the absolute absurdity of a white guy breakdancing in the 80's.

A "Green" Perspective on Lent

The observance of lent (the period of weeks leading up to Passion Week) is most often used as a time of ascetic contemplation; self denial for the benefit of the soul. It is indeed a form of ascetic practice. But there are nuanced forms of significance to the practice that often lurk in the overwhelming shadow of self-denial. 

We are involving the kids in our observance of Great Lent this year. In our discussion of what we will and will not eat and when we will or won't eat it Addie asked an innocuous question. She asked, "Why don't we drink milk?" I have learned that "because-I-said-so" answers don't fly with her so I shot from the hip, "We're just giving the cows a break." It was an attempt to put her off so I didn't have to reveal my ignorance on the matter. But it began a process of thought that made me realize that I was correct in my answer. 

I have learned in my short life as an Orthodox Christian that most every practice we take up in our spiritual life is redemptive far beyond the confines of our own souls. In fact, much of what we do, in word and deed, extends at least into the lives of our neighbors and often into all of creation. 

The Great Lent is a period of renewal, forgiveness, and confession. Traditionally, the lenten season has been a time of true spring cleaning, both physical and spiritual. It is, for us, a time of honoring all of creation and celebrating life. When we abstain from meat, dairy, oil, and wine we make peace with the animals and plants that provide those foods. Spring time is when animals emerge from the winter and restore life to their food-deprived, weakened bodies. It is the time when they spawn and perpetuate the species. To abstain from meat and fish, milk and eggs, allows life to be restored without the molestation of humankind.

Spring is also a critical time for plants when they begin to bud and develop the early stages of their fruits. Historically, Christians in agrarian cultures continued to live on the fruits of the fall harvest through the late winter and early spring. They participated in the cyclical progression of time that all of nature observes. We have developed agricultural practices that enable us to produce fruit year-round. That's not a bad thing. But by honoring the cycle of life that dominates all of plant life we allow the cycle to proceed in a less adulterated manner.

I spent a month in Ethiopia this past December and January. The Ethiopian Christians and Muslims are strict observers of their religious fasts all year long. In fact, Ethiopian Christians have more fast days than non-fast days every year. When you go to a restaurant in Addis Ababa, they provide fasting menus to everyone. Fasting is not as difficult there because the wider culture better accommodates the practice. I thought to myself on several occasions that I wished the restaurants in the U.S. did that. But these days, even in the meat-and-potatoes regions of the U.S., we have vegetarian options on most menus. Even steakhouses offer vegetarian options to its diners. The excuse that fasting is too difficult is not really an excuse at all. Fasting is a simple way to honor all of creation while gleaning deep spiritual truth. 

I encourage all Christians of every stripe to consider the practice of fasting with the realization that even in the most casual fasting practice you are extending the redemptive activity beyond the confines of your soul into all of creation.

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Best (and Worst) Eponymous Love Songs

Ever since the doo-wop era with songs like Barbara-Ann, popular songwriters have written love songs for specific girls. I made another Best... list of songs that best exemplify the eponymous love song. You may love them or you may love to hate them but, either way, you have to admit that the love song is still alive and well and is going out to the girls the songwriters love. Here goes...

Cecelia - Simon & Garfunkel

I'm concerned that both Simon AND Garfunkel begin by singing, "Making love in the afternoon to Cecelia...". Cecilia is a tramp! A tramp, maybe. But she warranted a song to be written in her honor.

Susie Q - Creedence Clearwater Revival

John Fogerty likes the way she walks and the way she talks. This is a true blues love song which makes it a rarity. Most of the blues songs named after women are either about an instrument (Lucille by B.B. King) or a particularly cold-hearted woman (Mustang Sally by Buddy Guy). 

Amanda - Boston

This dude LOVES Amanda. But there is a flaw in the plan. He sings, "I'm gonna' say it like a man and make you understand, Amanda." Now I don't know everything about communication between the sexes but saying it like a man is not going to make her understand s@#t! Still, an excellent song by an excellent band on an excellent album. 

Oh Sherrie - Steve Perry

While we're plumbing the depths of 80's ballads, I can't forget Steve Perry's homage to Sherrie. Can anyone who was alive at the time hear that song without seeing Steve Perry walking down the big staircase pounding his chest singing, "Our love will hold on"? A classic.

Angelia - Richard Marx

Alright, we're still in the 80's and it was a dark time for popular music. This one was not my idea (the GUY who suggested it will go unnamed but his name starts with "Matt" and ends with "Redard"). Although it is pure cheese, it exemplifies the eponymous love song. (I was always partial to Hold On to the Night)

Rosanna - Toto

Musically, a fantastic song from the great drum hook at the beginning to the fade out ending. Lyrically, a depressing love song about losing a chick. I have never known a Rosanna but whenever I hear the name, this song cues up and I sing it for hours. I'm so glad Rosanna Arquette has left the limelight. 

Sweet Jane - Lou Reed 

Although the Cowboy Junkies version of this song is my favorite, Lou Reed get the credit for writing a really good song about how a girl makes him feel. It's unfortunate that this song is connected so closely with the movie Natural Born Killers. It's a great movie but the song is deserves a better romance than that of Mickey and Mallory. 

Beth - KISS

Quite possibly the first power ballad. KISS was a heavy metal band for sure but they weren't above branching out into different genres (I Was Made For Loving You is pure disco [ugh!]). In a moment of vulnerability, while dismounting a groupie, Peter Criss (the drummer with the cat makeup) writes a heartfelt song about missing his woman while playing gigs with the band. Although they are renowned for spitting blood and pyrotechnic concerts their highest charting single ever (#7) was this love song. 

Angelina (Zooma Zooma) - Louis Prima

Pennies From Heaven is my favorite Prima song but this one is a close second. "I eat antipasta twice just because she is so nice, Angelina... The waitress at the pizzeria." The sentiment of this song is so sweet. Sweet, that is, until you get to the Italian verses. Go online and find the translations to the lyrics. Scandalous! BTW, check out Prima's other eponymous song "Oh Marie". Another awesome swing era song.

Annie's Song - John Denver

I really dislike this song. I am not using the word hate because my wife loves it and in the interest of perpetuating the domestic bliss I am going to temper my words. I know, I know, it's a sweet folk ballad... blah, blah,blah...I love the guitar intro. It holds so much promise. And then... "You fill up my senses..." Really, the lyrics come off like an insipid high school creative writing exercise (I thought I could temper my words but I couldn't do it). Anyway, as eponymous love songs go, this is definitely one of them.

Hannah - Ray Lamontagne

Now THIS is a sweet folk ballad. This tells a story of a life of falling in love. I really like this song a lot. It helps that it's about a girl from the Ozarks. I married one.

Dammit Janet - Rocky Horror Show

This song is AWESOME! Seriously, the fact that it is Barry Bostwick and Susan Sarandon singing it as young kids makes it all the more humorous. Whether or not you have witnessed the magnificence of the RHPS you will be able to appreciate the hilarity of this love song. For those of you who have plunged into the madness of the Frankenfurter saga, try to hear the song in its original form and block out the "You're A Slut!" rendition.

Layla - Eric Clapton

One of the greatest rock-and-roll songs ever! The legend surrounding this song is as famous as the song itself. Allegedly, it was written for Patty Boyd, the wife of good friend George Harrison, with whom Clapton was quite smitten. I can do without the 3 minute Duane Allman slide guitar solo at the end but still a great song.

Oh Carolina - Shaggy

The coolest song that I can't understand. For the uninitiated, Shaggy is a superstar of the dancehall genre (think Rhianna's "'Pon de Replay"). It would appear that Carolina is a hot little number that Shaggy would like to spend more time with. And I suppose if I understood the Jamaican dialect it would be even more smutty. It's a great song though. While I'm on the subject, you need to give dancehall a listen. Start with Shaggy as he's the most accessible. Then give Ini Kamoze, Beanie Man, Mad Cobra or Shabba Ranks a listen. It's music that exists solely to make you shake your booty. 

Stacy's Mom - Fountains of Wayne

I know this is technically about Stacy's MOM but they're singing to Stacy. This is really funny, especially to any guy who has told a buddy, "Hey, you're mom's hot." And yes, I have said that to a friend or two. Most recently, I said it to my son Quincy. 

Who's Watching the Watchmen?

 

I have had a vague awareness of the importance of Watchmen within the comic book/graphic novel world. However, I really had no idea what the story was about. So when I went to watch it late last night, I had the benefit of not knowing what to expect. In short, I loved it. That should not be construed to mean that I don't have some critiques of it. 

The soundtrack is absurd. The story takes place in an alternate 1985 America where Richard Nixon is in his third term as president. Yet, all of the music is from the 60's. The only 1960's connection in the movie is the presence of Richard Nixon. There is so much music from the 80's that could have been used to situate the movie in its period. Even the song that is from 1984 is used in the most unfitting circumstance. Leonard Cohen's "Hallelujah" is played during a sex-scene. That song is poetic but hardly romantic. I suspect the director was trying to avoid taking the scene too seriously. But "Hallelujah" is a serious song and completely out of place in that circumstance. And so it goes with many of the songs in the movie. The opening credit sequence with Bob Dylan's "Times They Are A-Changin'" is the single exception. That was an apt choice of songs. The score (the background music) is actually quite good but the soundtrack is silly.

All I'm saying is that if they wanted to truly set the movie in 1985 they could have chosen much better music. "Come On Eileen" (1982) would have been a better choice for the sex scene. After all, it's about a guy begging for nookie. 

Rorschach is, hands-down, the best-developed, best-portrayed character in the story. His story depicts the flawed psyche that leads all of these characters to don costumes and fight crime. Nite Owl is a great character and best exemplifies the true comic book super hero. But even he is all too human. 

The fight scenes are spectacular and the violence is extreme. But where it is used it is far from gratuitous. Keep in mind that this movie comes to us from a comic book universe. And comic books have a way of apprehending our emotions and escorting them to some very extreme places. 

I recommend this movie highly but go with the knowledge that this is an extremely dark movie and if you are going expecting "The Dark Knight", it's darker than that.

The single most highly commended aspect of Watchmen is its portrayal of very real ethical dilemmas for which there is no easy answer, or possibly too many acceptable answers to choose from. What do we sacrifice for peace at any cost? Is evil an intrinsic human characteristic, without which we cease to be human? Heady stuff for a comic book.

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Peace in the Storm

This is a blog post from February 2006 and it is one that I return to often because it is still a poignant reminder of the nearness of God. Today begins the Orthodox lenten season and it is a time of internal reflection and outward action. With things in life being so iffy, I need something to which I can moor myself. I hope that you, the reader, find that thing that keeps you anchored and that you find peace in the storm.

Here 'tis...

"May the Peace of God be with you."

"And with your spirit."

Such was the call and response at Holy Liturgy this morning. I don't know what the Peace of God is. I don't know what it looks like. It's such a nice thing to wish for someone though. It's sure better than saying, "Have a nice day." The Peace of God is this nebulous "other" floating out there somewhere and every once in a while we catch a glimpse of it. The glimpse never affords us enough time to study the nature of the Peace of God. It's not unlike driving around Portland and seeing Mt. Hood looming majestically in the distance. You catch a glimpse and it takes your breath away because, with all the clouds hanging around, you seldom see it and even forget it's there. But your breath is taken and you think to yourself, "Good God! I forgot how close it is to us." Such is the Peace of God. It looms out there, obscured by the shade of darkness and every once in a while we catch a glimpse of it and we are stunned at how near it really is.

St. Nicholas, in all of it's foreign ritual, reaches out to my sense of the nearness of God. I am encouraged by their community not because it is idyllic and serene. To the contrary, the small community is wrought with conflict between young and old, rich and poor, and the dueling traditions of the varied ethnicities represented. Little of the conflict is hidden and swept under the rug. They are a family, with all the light and heat that define families. And I believe that it is within this storm of conflict that the Peace of God can be glimpsed. And it is this honest life together that draws me in. 

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